Bohemia Village Voice

Ratty.

Some days ago, I was walking by the traffic lights at the Silverhill end of Bohemia Road when a gentleman stopped me and informed me that he had just seen a large rat in a front garden. This, I suppose, is a  good example of what Jung called synchronicity; a couple of days previously, I had reported on rats and other supposed vermin for the Bohemia Village Voice. I wasn’t sure what to say to this fellow but as he appeared to be in a state of some agitation, I tried to calm him down a bit by pointing out that, so far as I know, there is no great danger to health from rats unless they are infested with Weil’s disease and their urine gets into your body; usually, the greatest risk is to those who take part in water sports and thereby come into contact with river water.

UNSAFE TO SNORKEL

The only practical suggestion I could come up with at the time was that he contact his local councillor and suggest that a sign could be erected saying "BOHEMIA ROAD: UNSAFE TO SNORKEL" but, having had time to reflect, I now feel that I have been somewhat irresponsible as such a sign would almost certainly encourage sub-aqua danger junkies to descend on Bohemia Road. I may even join them as I’m up for any activity that involves wearing rubber.

Unfortunately, I was in a hurry to get to Siverhill to buy a jar of Branston Pickle (small chunk version, naturally) and did not have the presence of mind to point out that the rat was obviously free-range and possibly even organic. Also, it was supposedly fairly large so one might get a decent stew out of it, or something (ratatouille?).

FAT HEN

There are many plants that grow in our gardens, fields, hedgerows etc. that are eminently edible and yet we eschew them in favour of produce that costs us our hard-earned shekels and is less fresh. Some wild plants that you can eat are: Dandelion, Nettle, Garlic Mustard, Fat Hen, Cleavers, Sorrel (high in Oxalic Acid, so mind your kidneys). Recently, there has been an upsurge of interest in gobbling garden greenery and anyone who’s interested should get a copy of "Food for Free" by Richard Mabey.

KEBABS

The same cannot be said for animals. In spite of the copious bad press that the Grey Squirrel has been receiving recently, we are still buying chicken legs, kebabs, sausages and beef burgers to put on our barbies. It may be partly because we are squeamish when it comes to killing animals, unlike the Americans, many of whom wouldn’t think twice about hunting and chowing down on varmints such as squirrel and possum.

Mr Mabey restricts his book to plants and fungi so is therefore dumb on the subject of wild meat, and I have mislaid my copy of "The Fat of the Land"

by John Seymour which, if I remember correctly, does give some handy hints as to what critters can go in the pot. Without the benefit of Mr Seymour’s wisdom, I have had to find other sources of guidance on combining pest control with gustatory pleasure; I shall pass on my findings in the near future. Meanwhile, sharpen your knives, buy some onions and some herbs, then set your traps.  Dave Kent.