Bohemia Village Voice

From Bohemian Bouquet, published 1980 by The Bohemians.

The Housewife’s Lament

I cannot play an instrument
To make a joyful sound.
I cannot sing so tunefully
That people gather round.
I cannot write a novel
Which will earn me pounds and pounds.
I cannot, like some artists,
Paint a picture to astound.
I cannot solve maths problems
My brain they always tease.
I cannot tell the capitals
Of countries overseas.
I cannot tell the dates of wars
Or when they made their peace.
I cannot speak in foreign tongues
Or pass exams, with ease.
I cannot run a mile or more
Or swim across a lake.
I cannot ride on horse-back
The thought just makes me quake.
I cannot do the high jump
The prize I’d never take
I cannot toss the caber
But
I CAN BAKE A CAKE!

Elizabeth Preston