Bohemia Village Voice  Bohemia Village Voice

For bohemians everywhere

Medical terms

By Jo Hunter, Aug 2011

Dear Sir – I just knew your readers would like to become acquainted with these medical terms – Artery – the study of paintings. Bacteria – back door to cafeteria. Barium – what doctors do when patients die. Benign – what you be, after you be eight. Caesarean section – a neighbourhood in Rome. Cat scan – searching for kitty. Cauterize – made eye contact with her. Colic – a sheep dog. Coma – a punctuation mark. Dilate – to live too long. Enema – not a friend. Fester – quicker than someone else. Fibula – a small lie. Impotent – distinguished, well known. Labour pain – getting hurt at work. Medical staff – A doctor’s cane. Morbid – A higher offer. Nitrates – levels of pay for unsociable working hours. Node – I knew it. Outpatient – a person who has fainted. Post operative – a letter carrier. Recovery room – a place to do upholstery. Rectum – nearly killed him. Secretion – hiding something. Seizure – Roman emperor. Tablet – a small table. Terminal illness – getting sick at the airport. Tumour – an additional couple. Urine – opposite of you’re out.

Mrs Jo Hunter, St Peter’s Road.

 

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