Bohemia Village Voice  Bohemia Village Voice

For bohemians everywhere

Caroline Cooke

The Best Dressed Window

Christmas starts early in Seaside-on-Sea. “Who wants to organise the Best Dressed Shop Window Competition?”
Silence
“I will,” says a small voice. Oh No! It’s mine.
Still, easy enough to do. Send out a few forms – nothing complicated – just yes or no answers. Collect the forms, organise a judge – hey presto – job done.
Closing date comes. Judge, a member of the public, is briefed. Off we go!
“I want to enter.”
“But the closing date has passed.”
“But I’m special.”
“Not that special.”
This is more difficult than it seemed.
After a week the judge has deliberated. Winner and runners-up are announced.
“How can a bed with unironed dirty sheets have won?”
“That was Tracey Emin winning the Turner Prize,” I explain carefully.
“How can a stuffed shark in stinky water win?”
“That was Damien Hirst utilising the fish from the Sea World Centre that had been fed seaside rock by a cute little visitor.
“How can a crumpled tablecloth and fairy lights win. It should have been me because I won last year. Was the judge blind? It’s outrageous!”
“Oh dear,” says Tracey, the judge. I’m off back to Margate. Happy Christmas.

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