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Gardeners Questions by Dave Kent

Dave Kent

Dave Kent

Q. My mobility scooter is missing. I weigh 34 stone and cannot get around without it. Can you help? Anita Harris (Mr).
A.  Dave : I suspect that you may have engulfed your scooter. There was a recent case where a post-mortem on a very large person unearthed 2 mobility scooters and 6 dining chairs. You could try undressing, bending forward and asking someone if they can see any sign of a rear suspension or front basket. Failing this, make an urgent appointment with your GP as the motor may still be running and he may hear it with his stethoscope. If there is still no sign, go down to the beach and enlist the help of the lunatics with metal detectors. If they can’t find it then you should ask your GP to arrange an urgent post-mortem as this could save you from being prosecuted for making a fraudulent insurance claim.

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